Balance - What's That?

Why do embarrassing things only happen in front of an audience? I mean, when I fell off the stage in high school, that was in front of a bunch of people. Or when I thought I was cool enough to "hop" over a deck railing in 8th grade, but instead fell on my head, it was in front of my entire class. And tonight, when I slipped on the ice getting out of the Explorer, it was at my new church in front of a complete stranger.

I have gone all winter without falling on the ice. Which is quite a feat for two reasons. Number one, we've had a fair amount of ice and snow so far this winter. And number two, because I'm incredibly clumsy. So, all the times I waddled at an arthritic grandmother's pace across the ice and snow to get to work, I never fell - because no one was watching. I've decided that's the key, it's embarrassing enough to lose your balance and fall, but it's even more embarrassing to have an audience. And my inner clumsy self has figured this out, and plotted against me. Working very hard to keep my balance at all times when I'm alone, just waiting for the perfect opportunity to embarrass me to the full extent.

Here's what happened. I pulled into a parking space at our new church. It was snowy, so I was driving the Explorer, which is much higher off the ground than my Honda. I opened the door and was mentally congratulating myself on parking in the lines when I put my foot down on what appeared to be harmless blacktop. But alas, I was wrong. Since the Explorer is higher, it's a little harder for me to get in and out anyway, you know, since I'm short. So adding that to the slippery black ice factor, I lost my footing, slid around trying desperately to catch my balance, failed miserably and was down for the count. I think I did a double slide, slid once, tried to catch myself, flailed limbs wildly, and slid again. Luckily I fell on my backside, so there was plenty of padding. Unfortunately, as I was exiting the vehicle in such an amusing manner a lady had pulled in behind me, with her headlights shining brightly, spotlighting the moment in all its glory. If only I could have popped up quickly and said "Ta da!!" But I'm not that quick these days :) She got out of her car and asked if I was all right. I said something really intelligent like, "I didn't think it would be that slippery." And I waddled into church behind her. My inner clumsy self wins again.

Mandy <><